Riff evangelist and review machine. If a record slaps, you’ll hear about it — loudly, and at length.
Festival survivor and sludge connoisseur. Rarely seen without a pint or a strong opinion. Usually both.
The voice of reason — allegedly. Keeps the sweeping statements at least loosely tethered to reality.
Spiritual guidance for the abyss-bound. Blesses the riffs, damns the fillers.